So, we celebrated Natalie's 2nd birthday 3 months ago (July) & since then she has been doing pretty well. As with everything shes accomplished, its hard and slow-going, but she is one motivated little girl! Its hard to believe that this time last year I spent most of my spare time in tears over her delays and knowing she would forever be "different". I cant imagine myself doing that today... I have the most wonderful gift God could create for me. Everything that she is just makes my heart smile.
I'm not sure what makes rubbing her hand on the wall more funny than peek a boo or tickles, but watching her mind work while she plays, well, I could do that all day.
She has become extremely curious over the last year. Everything is new & everything tastes different... She eats EVERYTHING! dirt on the ground, cardboard from book covers, blocks, toys, hair... literally everything.
She isn't really interested in walking from one place to another. I do think she is aware that she can use her legs to move around, shes just not able to control her body as well as she needs to in order to do that. She will, however, walk from one persons arms to another persons (open) arms if its less than 8 steps or so. Its great! By the last step shes more stumbling than anything but the first few steps seem very intentional and focused. I am so proud of this progress. It took her over a year to learn to sit without falling over and a year and 8 months to learn to crawl. Looking back, we weren't really sure if she would ever be able to walk on her own. Now, I feel like she will not only be able to walk, but she will run! She will skip! She will dance! (she already dances pretty good!!) She will jump & play like a child should be able to.
I'm not really sure that Mike & I will EVER be comfortable with leaving Natalie in a strangers care. I still feel nervous even when shes in the church nursery during services. I feel like I am only giving God 80% because I am constantly thinking "do they know she eats leafs and grass?" "I hope they notice if she falls down" What if the other children don't like her because she doesn't understand the concept of pretend play or how to share things..."
I worry that all the children Natalie plays with will grow up and she will have no one but me & Mike. I have met several people who have children with similar needs, but other than raising children in similar worlds, what is there to start a friendship?
We have a few family members who, it seems, still don't accept Natalie for who she IS. They say they believe she will wake up one day and be right where she is "suppose to be" & one day she will catch up to all the kids her age. I know this is just hopeful speaking and its meant to make us feel good. Sadly, it doesn't. It hurts. I feel like these people love her less because she isn't normal and they hope one day she is so she can be worthy of their love. I am aware that its most likely not that way, but to me, when people say they pray that she is one day normal, it hurts. Yes, I pray she excels & progresses, but I truly feel like God made Natalie just the way she is for a reason. God doesn't make mistakes & my child doesn't need to be normal to receive his love. Thats good enough for me.
I am thankful for the friends we have made along the way that accept & care for Natalie just the way she is... Friends that are raising their children to be tolerant and loving to others, even when they don't understand them.
God is so good!!
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